Want to know the biggest lesson I’ve learned since becoming a Style CoachTM?
I have to tell you that I’ve learned so much since deciding to dive into all things style related. I’ve learned about shapes and colours, accessories and style personalities.
But the biggest lesson?
It can be condensed down to just six words.
Style is never about the clothes.
It is easy to think that style is about clothing. This is especially true if you are a regular consumer of fashion content – either the traditional glossy type or the modern on-line versions. Buy this season’s must have item and you’ll have your style nailed. Don’t wear that marsala frock, it’s so 2015 – you’ll be committing a style sin.
But deep down, most of us understand that personal style encapsulates something more than simply wearing what is currently considered fashionable. Or purchasing a particular brand name. Otherwise, how would we account for the women who can make a vintage wrap dress look amazing one day and have you wondering how the same woman can turn jeans and a white t-shirt into something special when you see them next?
So, If Style Is Never About The Clothes, What Is Style About?
Style is about how you feel in those clothes. More often than not, when you feel stylish, you feel great.
Yet so often we make style about clothing because we don’t realise it is an emotion that we are actually craving.
When we fixate on clothes – whether they be new items that we’d like to incorporate into our wardrobes, or existing pieces that we would like to fit back into – we are frequently chasing a particular feeling. An emotion that we would like to have again. Or perhaps have for the first time.
Maybe we want to capture a certain sense of confidence. Or to feel effortlessly chic and attractive. Or sexy. Oftentimes we want to go back in time to experience the emotions of joy or fun or happiness. And let’s not forget the feeling of appropriateness – wanting to ‘fit in’ is hardwired into many of us.
If you are not quite sure you agree with me, think about the last piece of clothing you bought. Unless you were replacing a basic piece of your wardrobe, it’s likely you had a stack of thoughts running through your head about where you might wear the piece and how you would feel while dressed in that item.
If we are not aware of this tendency, we can put a lot of pressure on clothes to make us feel a particular way. Ultimately this pressure can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and disappointment (which are unlikely to be the emotions we were after initially). It also leads to wardrobes full of unworn clothes or clothes that have been worn only once. This is usually due to the fact that the clothes just didn’t make us feel like we wanted to feel.
Style Is About…
Style is definitely about feeling fabulously pulled together when you present yourself to the world. It’s also about feeling like you are dressed just right for your lifestyle. And wearing outfits that fit your body shape. Style comes from knowing yourself, owning your style personality and not thinking that you need to compare yourself to others.
These feelings might sound difficult to achieve. Especially if you’ve been thinking that style only relies on the clothes you wear.
While style is never about the clothes, I promise that you can learn to feel great every day. And as a bonus, feeling good about how you are dressed can give you the confidence to improve other areas of your life. If you would like to learn more about my approach to style, make sure you check out the opportunities to work with me.
I believe in the importance of style because I believe that every woman deserves the opportunity to feel great about one part of their life, every single day. I’d love to know your thoughts about style? Do you agree that style is never about the clothes? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below.
And until next time – au revoir.